great expectations

all of my life, i have done things for other people. I have tried to be good for my parents and get good grades, do lots of extra curriculars, spend hours doing homework, take the hardest classes. but this is my year. its is my last year in this school with my friends. in all reality as much as i want to hope and wish that someday we will all go to college together or really spend time with all of us in one place, its not really going to happen. the next time that will probably happen is at someones wedding. so anyway, i had this idea ever since i knew that this would be the last time. i wanted my last year with the wonderful perfect, awesome people to be all about us. this year was supposed to be all about us. it was supposed to be our year to goof off, to make total and complete fools of ourselves, it was supposed to be our year for everything no to go perfectly, but it wasnt supposed to go like this. i never asked for an someone to walk into my life and turn it upside down and inside out and ruin everything by accident. i didnt ask for a random valentine! what dont people understand about me not wanting them to like me! im not supposed to be charming and nice. i am supposed to be the awkward girl who sits in the corner of the lunchroom with her friends obnoxiously fangirling over the latest glee episode, or what darren criss wore at last nights award show, or how perfect grant gustin and taylor swifts children would be. i odnt want people to chase after me because in all honesty, i am not interested in a relationship that is going to last for 3-8 days. i dont need that sudden neon blinking neon sign over my head saying in a relationship. and i dont want the facebook backlash of CONGRATS!! and IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! when really they shouldn't care about what i am doing in my spare time (as if i had some)

about me

blogging. something i have not so recently given up. after a short run of slight depression and a lot of time off, i have decided to start blogging again. so to simply start i will be telling the entire internet, or whoever stumbles on this rather unfortunate piece of writing, about me. what is there to know about me. well.... i guess you could say there is a lot of stuff but i have brown eyes and hair. my hair has a strange tendancy to be extremely curly and fun although i look quite out of place in any family portrait. i absolutely adore my teal doc martens whom have seen me through my best and worst days and they have the scars to prove it, but i love them that way. headbands are another obsession of mine, mostly ones with sparkles but also bows and flowers and... well just about anything really. i have this strange inclination to be obsessed with things including, glee (although it has gotten quite terrible lately), starkid productions, taylor swift, boyce avenue, road's end farm (aka heaven on earth), and PONYBOY (more commonly known as Doyle, the golden pony at road's end farm). although i am not completely obsessed... i also like musical theater, regular theater, collecting random things, being crafty, photography,  making overly sentimental gifts with said photography, quotes/lyrics, concerts, and travel. in the winter i am much more of a night time person in the fall/winter/spring but in summer i am totally the first one at the barn haying and feeding. my wardrobe couldnt really be described with one word. i love flanel shirts with jeans and a tank top but also summer dresses and cardigans. pretty much i just mix and match everything and top it all off with my docs and a headband.... my idols are: taylor swift, darren criss, grant gustin, tom woodman, and sophie siegle-warren. kinda wide on the spectrum of people but whatever. i love my family to death including my two awfully trained beagles. i love writing about anything and everything but lately i have been in a slump made of a combination of lack of time and writers block. i also love my friends luca, leyla, gaby, lara, and steffen to pigfarts and back (its on mars) they are the coolest, most  awkward and talented people i know and i cant imagine a life without them.