great expectations

all of my life, i have done things for other people. I have tried to be good for my parents and get good grades, do lots of extra curriculars, spend hours doing homework, take the hardest classes. but this is my year. its is my last year in this school with my friends. in all reality as much as i want to hope and wish that someday we will all go to college together or really spend time with all of us in one place, its not really going to happen. the next time that will probably happen is at someones wedding. so anyway, i had this idea ever since i knew that this would be the last time. i wanted my last year with the wonderful perfect, awesome people to be all about us. this year was supposed to be all about us. it was supposed to be our year to goof off, to make total and complete fools of ourselves, it was supposed to be our year for everything no to go perfectly, but it wasnt supposed to go like this. i never asked for an someone to walk into my life and turn it upside down and inside out and ruin everything by accident. i didnt ask for a random valentine! what dont people understand about me not wanting them to like me! im not supposed to be charming and nice. i am supposed to be the awkward girl who sits in the corner of the lunchroom with her friends obnoxiously fangirling over the latest glee episode, or what darren criss wore at last nights award show, or how perfect grant gustin and taylor swifts children would be. i odnt want people to chase after me because in all honesty, i am not interested in a relationship that is going to last for 3-8 days. i dont need that sudden neon blinking neon sign over my head saying in a relationship. and i dont want the facebook backlash of CONGRATS!! and IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! when really they shouldn't care about what i am doing in my spare time (as if i had some)